What we talk about when we talk about Joan Didion's birthday

A:happy diddy's birthday!
R:i am eating a whole cake for it!
A:it's not rosie o'donnell's birthday
A:you should order a cake from payard. eat a sliver
A:and then fret that you got the wrong one and that nobody will come to your party
A:and then throw it away
R:see I like to celebrate Joan by eating all the things she doesn't eat
R:its the kids in africa theory
R:joan is starving somewhere so i better eat an entire pizza